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Delusional Mother of teen

September 7th, 2005 · 4 Comments

I was talking to a friend of mine who regularly reads this column, and she told me she almost added a comment to my Keep ‘em busy article.  "You are delusional – woman!"

This is a woman who has raised three boys to adulthood, and knows, really knows, about raising boys.

So, I had to think about this.  And re-read my article about keeping teenboy occupied with projects that interest him and turn a moody, morose teen into an engaged, interested, and happy boy-man.

And no, I dont think I am totally delusional.  I dont think that the moodiness is not going to come back if I keep him busy enough.  And I really dont think that I am over the hurdles of raising a man quite yet.  I know I have a lot to go, and some days it scares the heck out of me.

But what this has shown me is that no matter how dark it looks, there will always be light at the end of the tunnel.  I know, the next time we go through a rough patch, that I can trust things will turn around.

Because we got through this one.  And that has given me a belief I was lacking previously.

And isnt that what we all need when times are bad?  When the storms of life hit us (whether it is getting through teen years in one piece, or surviving redundancy, or major illness, or bereavement, or any of those other things life throws at us…) we need to have a faith and belief that the sun will come out again.  That we can get through this, if we just put one foot in front of the other and keep going.

It reminds me of one of my favourite sayings of my teen years:

The darkest night is oft followed by the brightest day

So no, dear, I am not delusional, just a hopeless optimist who always wants everything to turn out rosy… But thank you so much for making me think about this from a different angle.

Anyone else got any comments on my mental state ??  (all welcome!!!)

Tags: Why Did I Have Children?

4 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Chris // Sep 8, 2005 at 12:53 pm

    Oh alright maybe you weren’t delusional!!!!

  • 2 Chris // Sep 8, 2005 at 12:53 pm

    Oh alright maybe you weren’t delusional!!!!

  • 3 Maryanne // Sep 8, 2005 at 10:56 pm

    I don’t think you’re being delusional. My son went through a similar situation when he was 14 or so. I tried to get him interested in projects like you did. What I found out was he was depressed. I never knew boys could go through stuff like that. He snapped out of it when he joined the cross country team at school. Got involved with a new set of friends. He flouished. He also say the light at the end of the tunnel but it took sometime. Mom’s hurt when are kids are low. I think sometimes we may hurt more than the kids, but time does heal and it did for us.

  • 4 naomi // Sep 11, 2005 at 7:26 pm

    The teenage years are 8 + years away for us, but it doesn’t stop me thinking about them, especially when I hear or read stories from others regarding their experiences, and I wonder what I would do, how I’d react, what I would say to help my boy keep his belief in himself and his confidance that his parents are on his side (is this delusional???) I am already practicing the “breath in, breath out – take it bit-by-bit-moment-by-moment” approach, and only hope that I might instill this “cool” approach in my boy, so that he might possibly consider keeping me “in” his life during his teen years! My other hope, Karen, is that I raise a boy like you, who, in my opinion, can look at his Mum when he’s 15 with a sweet expression of love and respect mixed with a dash of playfulness, and know that he’s listened to me, knows his boundaries, has the courage to assert himself, but the wisdom to know how far he can ultimately go!!! You have raised beautiful children, and they are blessed with a Mother so committed to helping them achieve their potential and be happy, or certainly very secure, as they do. God Bless! Naomi.

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